Backpacking’s (un)spoken rule & why I am not following it

I’m currently researching and preparing for the biggest adventure of my life – long-term travelling throughout 2024, starting off in Southeast Asia. My plan is simply to take a backpack, the kind that fits on the overhead compartment in the airplane, and a smaller day pack to fit under the seat.

I have backpacked before, but never for a 4-month-long trip. Only a maximum of two weeks. I love the concept you are forced to really think about what you need, and I’ve found it to be a fantastic educational exercise. Why the hell do I have so much stuff when I am going on my “normal life”, that’s the thing that pops in my head over and over when I’m backpacking.

But what is backpacking?

Backpacking has been seen as a way of low-cost travelling. Backpackers carry all of their possessions on their backs and choose to stay in inexpensive accommodations, mostly hostels. It also may refer to those who simply walk from place to place carrying a backpack – hikers mostly, often with a pretty hefty weight on their backs, as it would have to include camping equipment. Often, the image in people’s minds is of young people, looking rough, like they have not slept a good night’s sleep in a long time, potentially hangover, and stinky – in need of a shower, or many.

Personally, I agree that it can be a more low-cost way of travelling. You don’t have to check in a bag on the plane, which usually is more costly. It also makes me more conscious about the things I buy whilst on the road – I tend to be more frugal and less likely to succumb to the temptation of buying way too many souvenirs (very limited spaces, and it’s more weight you have to physically carry).

But I don’t think it has to mean you are the rough traveller, who spends their nights in shared dorms, hitchhikes or mainly spend hours and hours on long bus journeys to move from place to place. It doesn’t have to mean that you may even skip meals.

Why did I want to write about it?

To vent a little 🙂

I’ve been researching quite a lot on the topic, and mostly I’ve found really good advice on how to organise the backpack, and how many items to take, which are definitely helpful. The thing about the concept of “backpacking” is that it seems to go beyond the simple action of carrying a backpack. It seems to come with a lot of expectations on how you are supposed to travel – besides the low-cost style of it. Well, when people try to tell other people what is the best way to live their lives… it gets to me.

I’m now 31, and I found that since my late twenties, I’ve been progressively caring less and less about what people say or think. But it still really gets to me when things change from “advice” to “this is the only way to do it”. or “This is how to do it right”. We are all humans, with unique personalities, different tastes, and different lifestyles. And for nothing in life, there is a “one size fits all”.

I wrote a little while ago about “travel cliches“, and now that I’ve been researching this trip, ironically, I’ve found the biggest cliche ever and it is one I do not plan to follow – that backpacking means travelling without a plan. It means being almost 100% flexible. It suggests that you book just the first nights at the place you land on and that is all. And then, just follow your gut. Stay as long as you want where you are having a good time, and move on from others you don’t like the vibe. Don’t take me wrong – this sounds like a dream, complete flexibility, almost complete freedom. Personally, I think this is a fantastic way to travel. But it just doesn’t work for me.

I can’t just sit here and not plan. That is not my personality. I am a planner, and part of the fun of organising a trip for me is the planning. Is to define my itinerary, and understand what are the best and safest places to stay in. I have to highlight – the safest – because as a woman solo traveller, I cannot afford to forget about safety. I cannot risk being stranded somewhere with no place to stay the night, alone. I also don’t want to have to stay somewhere I couldn’t read any prior reviews on it – not just on whether it is safe and clean, the two most important things for me.

Many would argue this way of backpacking is not right. You should live in the moment. But as an anxious person, I also can’t do that. I can try, and work hard to be better at it, but it just won’t work if it means putting me at risk, or even having to spend more money for last-minute flights, or because the only hotel with free clean rooms available is a resort.

Yet, it really does get to me when once again, these articles and forums I’ve been reading seem to want to take away the experience of a backpacker who plans – because that is not the right way to do things.

Guess what… there is no right way!

I consider myself a pretty seasoned traveller. I’ve been solo travelling since my early twenties. I did stay at hostels particularly when my budget was very limited, but always chose them carefully, making sure I was staying in female-only dorms when possible, and the dorms were small (my only experience with a 20-bed dorm was terrible). And if there is something I can take from all the travelling I’ve done thus far is that there is no right way to do it – everyone has their own personal preferences, their own budgets, their own styles.

So the question is – am I allowed to call myself a backpacker or even to say I’m going backpacking r if I’m planning my itinerary and booking my accommodation in advance? Perhaps not. And to be honest, it doesn’t matter to me. Not anymore. My concern is that it may matter to some others, who may end up defining their travels based on expectations rather based on how they personally really feel about it.

Listening to your gut is not a skill only required from the moment you land on a strange land. Listening to it is something you should do every day in your life, and yes that includes starting at home when you are defining your travel plans. Plan (or don’t plan) your travel based on what feels right to you.

I choose to backpack simply because it’s more practical. You don’t have to wait at the airport for your bag, risking it being lost. Often, you have to walk a lot from place to place, so a backpack is really the most practical way of carrying your stuff. In addition, it really teaches you the principles of living a more minimalist life. It does change your perspective on how much you really need to get by, something we often forget in our mundane day-to-day.

I do keep some sort of flexibility. I use Booking.com and Agoda for most of my accommodation, which means that I can book with free cancellation, meaning I still get some flexibility. Yet, it keeps my mind at ease to know that yes, I have a plan, I know where I am going and what I am doing next. and, again, that is my personal choice, that suits my own personality. Everything I do is with purpose, and travel is no different.

Now… this doesn’t mean I won’t change my mind. Even though I have travelled quite a lot, I never went long-term. And my perspective might change, and I am open to it. As humans, we evolve, we change our opinions, and should not be afraid to do so. the way I travel now is certainly very different from the way I travelled just a few years ago – and I’m open to embrace any change that also comes with experience and maturity.

All I want to state here, is that the right way to travel is by travelling the way you want (as long as you do it responsibly of course…) Don’t follow these unwritten rules about backpacking. And if you actually prefer to take a huge suitcase with you on the plane, please do it. Follow your gut, make it comfortable to you. As long as you still go! That’s what really matters at the end of the day 🙂

Rant finished! Would love to hear what others think about this topic, comment below 🙂

Love, Nic